I Just Love Him

Tonight my heart hurts. My heart hurts for my friends.

They are really good people. My friends are people that would give me all the money in their pocket, the time in the day, the food in their fridge, even if I had nothing to repay them with or even if I didn't talk to them for a couple months. They're just good people.

 As generous and loyal as they are, though...not all of them love Jesus. I think a lot of them want to love Jesus. I think a lot of them really want a relationship with someone that will never let them down. But a lot of them are upset. Or angry. Or frustrated. Or confused. Or just...lost.

In the beginning, I became angry just like my friends became angry...and frustrated, and confused, and lost in my own murky thoughts and bad theology. But what I have realized is that my friends aren't angry with God. They're not frustrated with God. They're angry at God's people. They're frustrated at God's people.
My friends have been looking for a relationship with someone that will never let them down.....in Christians. My friends have been looking for a relationship with someone that will never let them down....in me.

And, this breaks my heart. I can't be perfect. I can't be Jesus. I try to be like Him, but I fail every day. Sometimes I think that my failures to be like Him have fueled their anger, frustration, and confusion.  I just love Him. And He loves me. He loves them. I wish they knew that too.

Jesus, tell them you love them too.