Set In My Ways

Lately I've been getting frustrated - with my husband.

He has so many little ticks and particularities about him that can make living with him an adventure....and sometimes, an infuriating one. From hanging bath towels to how quickly we clean the coffee pot and the picture quality on the television, the man has an informed opinion on it all. Yes, you read that right - i.n.f.o.r.m.e.d. Anytime I ask him why he likes something a certain way, he has a prepared diatribe as to why his way is the only logical, best way to do it.Because one of the things I admire about him is his attention to detail, I try to do my best to accommodate them. Cleaning the whole coffee pot is now a habit, as is re-hanging his towel in that "just-so" way. I joke that he's trained me, but it's mostly a labor of love. Mostly.

However, my frustration hasn't been accommodating his needs. It's been feeling like he doesn't recognize my little pet idiosyncrasies, or that they're not as important as his bath towel being dry. Shouldn't he care about my not-so-bad habits too? Can't he just straighten the hand towel or make the bed just once? The cherry on top was overhearing a conversation he had with someone about marriage and his age (he's a little bit older than me) and relaying to the listener, "Perhaps if I had been married sooner, I wouldn't be so set in my ways."Aha! Set in his ways! Do I always have to accommodate him just because he is older and has had his habits longer than I've had mine?? The injustice!!

I let this marinate in my head and heart too long and of course, we ended up in an argument about it. After a door had been slammed, and I was in tears, I felt the Lord whisper to my heart, "I accommodate you, and you do not always accommodate me. You have been set in your ways". Then, I remembered all the times He has been so gracious to me when I am fearful and angry, and all the times He forgives me after blatant rebellion. He uses love to draw me close to Him. He never grumbles that He has such a wimpy horrible daughter. He never reminds me how sinful and ungrateful I am. He just overwhelms me with love...and I repay Him with inconsistency. How can I accommodate Him if I am not spending enough time with Him to discover the things that make Him glow with pride or burn with fury? (Aside from the really obvious things, you know, like murder and grieving the Holy Spirit). And how can I expect my husband to accommodate every little tick I have when I do not always accommodate my Creator?

I still have so much to learn, but I do not want to be set in my ways anymore. And when I feel a grumble rising up in my heart against my husband, I have to show him mercy, because so much mercy has been shown to me. Thank You, Father, for endless mercy.