Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Backlog
Here's a watercolor pencil piece that I did on Sunday. It started as a simple pen sketch while listening to a sermon in the morning and evolved into this in the evening.
I call it, Crossroads.
Gesture Drawing
Today is going to be a busy day for our little family, leaving little time for extensive creativity. Knowing this, I decided to try my hand at a little bit of gesture drawing while the kids finished up breakfast. Gesture drawing is just trying to catch the expression of what is happening, not the fine details. Here's what I caught:
Definitely not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it's something for the first day of the rest of my life.
Were you able to do anything today?
Were you able to do anything today?
Monday, March 23, 2015
On Being a Jack of all Crafts
God keeps reminding me of the various gifts and bents He's given me - writing and poetry, drawing, dancing, singing, acting, cooking, and gardening. Am I a master at any of these things right now? Oh, no. I'm not even close. I'm one of those 'Jack of all Trades' people. However, I can look back on my little life of nearly thirty years and identify seasons when I excelled more in one art than another. In junior high, it was writing and drawing. In high school, it was acting and piano. In college, it was dancing and more dancing. Currently? I'm a pretty decent cook and gardener.
All of those seasons of life, as different as they were, share one thing in common - consistency. Now that I cook on a daily basis, I can whip up a basic curry in under half an hour and bake a decent pie from scratch. The past three years, my husband and I have experimented with and successfully kept a vegetable patch. I placed in a writing tournament at districts because I wrote in my journal almost every day and dutifully attended all of the writing team practices. Because there were plenty of opportunities to dance and sing between show choir, musicals, plays, swing clubs, contra dances, and concerts in high school and college, I became a decent singer and even better dancer.
This little revelation is both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. Certainly, consistency is key. Unfortunately, the consistency that brought fruit in each area was imposed on me by outer influences and obligations. I had to go to concert choir rehearsal if I wanted an A, and consequently, I learned how to harmonize. Any attempt at consistency that I put on myself more or less drove itself into the ground and died in a heap. Most likely, I got bored, or sick or busy or sad that I didn't produce something "awesome"(read:marketable)
Ironically, I made this discovery in the middle of some consistency. In a strange moment of cautious ambition, I decided that I was going to develop my drawing skills and do one sketch a day. Now, you must know that with two children under the age of three, such a feat would be manageable on a good day, and courageous on a day when nap time takes a turn for the worst. So, by day four, sketches weren't happening..at least, not on my terms. I wasn't able to sit and do a perfect still life, but I drew a rough sketch of my very willing to model but not so willing to sit still toddler. On day five, he liked it so much, he asked that I draw him again. On day six, however, he wished to dance, and dance we did. At the end of that day, I was a little frustrated that I didn't get to sketch, but I realized that we did do something creative together - we choreographed a dance number...and I learned a little about patience and wrote a blog about it. So, I didn't get to sketch, but I got to do two creative things, and to be honest, I was starting to get a little bit bored and frustrated with sketching anyway.
So, in light of this little discovery, I've made a decision. To hone these gifts, everyday, I am going to do one thing, big or small, in one of my creative bents. I can do the same thing for a several days in a row if I choose (such as working on one painting) or I can do something completely different or something really small. As long as I make an effort, it counts. It doesn't have to be awesome, it doesn't have to be awful, it just has to be done, and I have to record it here. Yesterday, I made a small watercolor painting. Today, I'm writing a long blog post. Tomorrow, who knows? It will probably be something small, like a quick gesture sketch or just breaking up some ground in the garden.
If you're interested, I wouldn't mind company on this little journey of pace-ience and consistency. You can join me in any capacity you like. Do you have a talent or gift that you would like to develop? I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment. :)
Happy Creating,
Gabby
All of those seasons of life, as different as they were, share one thing in common - consistency. Now that I cook on a daily basis, I can whip up a basic curry in under half an hour and bake a decent pie from scratch. The past three years, my husband and I have experimented with and successfully kept a vegetable patch. I placed in a writing tournament at districts because I wrote in my journal almost every day and dutifully attended all of the writing team practices. Because there were plenty of opportunities to dance and sing between show choir, musicals, plays, swing clubs, contra dances, and concerts in high school and college, I became a decent singer and even better dancer.
This little revelation is both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time. Certainly, consistency is key. Unfortunately, the consistency that brought fruit in each area was imposed on me by outer influences and obligations. I had to go to concert choir rehearsal if I wanted an A, and consequently, I learned how to harmonize. Any attempt at consistency that I put on myself more or less drove itself into the ground and died in a heap. Most likely, I got bored, or sick or busy or sad that I didn't produce something "awesome"(read:marketable)
Ironically, I made this discovery in the middle of some consistency. In a strange moment of cautious ambition, I decided that I was going to develop my drawing skills and do one sketch a day. Now, you must know that with two children under the age of three, such a feat would be manageable on a good day, and courageous on a day when nap time takes a turn for the worst. So, by day four, sketches weren't happening..at least, not on my terms. I wasn't able to sit and do a perfect still life, but I drew a rough sketch of my very willing to model but not so willing to sit still toddler. On day five, he liked it so much, he asked that I draw him again. On day six, however, he wished to dance, and dance we did. At the end of that day, I was a little frustrated that I didn't get to sketch, but I realized that we did do something creative together - we choreographed a dance number...and I learned a little about patience and wrote a blog about it. So, I didn't get to sketch, but I got to do two creative things, and to be honest, I was starting to get a little bit bored and frustrated with sketching anyway.
So, in light of this little discovery, I've made a decision. To hone these gifts, everyday, I am going to do one thing, big or small, in one of my creative bents. I can do the same thing for a several days in a row if I choose (such as working on one painting) or I can do something completely different or something really small. As long as I make an effort, it counts. It doesn't have to be awesome, it doesn't have to be awful, it just has to be done, and I have to record it here. Yesterday, I made a small watercolor painting. Today, I'm writing a long blog post. Tomorrow, who knows? It will probably be something small, like a quick gesture sketch or just breaking up some ground in the garden.
If you're interested, I wouldn't mind company on this little journey of pace-ience and consistency. You can join me in any capacity you like. Do you have a talent or gift that you would like to develop? I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment. :)
Happy Creating,
Gabby
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Pace-tience
I want to do ten million things, excellently, to completion, five minutes ago.
(Okay, who doesn't?)
But really, I have this terrible habit of being pulled by the whims of my fleeting ambition, making impossible to do lists, and then succumbing to paralyzing condemnation (for quite possibly a week to a month) when I cannot complete a single item from those lists. Sound like torture? It totally is. Except for the chocolate --- I usually will comfort myself with chocolate.
Chocolate aside, I am learning that the restlessness that propels this vicious cycle is in fact, the absence of something - patience.
It takes patience to lose weight.
It takes patience to garden.
It takes patience to develop a craft.
It takes patience to cultivate healthy, life giving relationships.
It takes patience to write a decent blog post. (ha!)
Recently, I met with a dear friend and artist that I admire. We were planning for an event in the spring, and after the meeting was over, she shared with me a new thing she is doing to develop her art - painting one piece a day. Although I admired her fortitude, I was also quite jealous. Surely, I could do the same thing. Why, I SHOULD do the same thing. I should do it right NOW. I WILL. AND I WILL HAVE A GALLERY AND AN ART SHOW AND EVERYONE WILL LOVE ME FOR HOW CREATIVE AND AWESOME I AM. (Cue the trumpets and the wind blowing my hair dramatically while I am surrounded by epic original works of art by yours truly)
No joke, I started doodling something as soon as she was finished sharing some of her new pieces with me. It was only kind of good. And the other pieces that I have sketched this week are probably mediocre at best. This a far cry from the instant day dream that I had last Friday.
This is a cycle that has repeated itself over and over again in different areas of my life...and it is hardly ever life giving. Condemnation sneaks in and then depression and then I need Jesus and my friends to scrape me off the floor and breathe hope back into my soul.
Anyway, this week, I found myself thinking, "Why can I never complete things on my own terms?" Almost immediately I felt the Lord ask me, "Do you believe that my 'terms' for completion are better?"
So, God is teaching me what I like to call 'pace-tience'. Taking it slow doesn't mean not moving.
Writing a draft first and publishing after a day or two is okay.
Taking a week to carefully plan a party is okay.
I can't run proverbial marathons at a sprint pace the whole way through. His way, a slower, more gentle way, is better.
(Okay, who doesn't?)
But really, I have this terrible habit of being pulled by the whims of my fleeting ambition, making impossible to do lists, and then succumbing to paralyzing condemnation (for quite possibly a week to a month) when I cannot complete a single item from those lists. Sound like torture? It totally is. Except for the chocolate --- I usually will comfort myself with chocolate.
Chocolate aside, I am learning that the restlessness that propels this vicious cycle is in fact, the absence of something - patience.
It takes patience to lose weight.
It takes patience to garden.
It takes patience to develop a craft.
It takes patience to cultivate healthy, life giving relationships.
It takes patience to write a decent blog post. (ha!)
Recently, I met with a dear friend and artist that I admire. We were planning for an event in the spring, and after the meeting was over, she shared with me a new thing she is doing to develop her art - painting one piece a day. Although I admired her fortitude, I was also quite jealous. Surely, I could do the same thing. Why, I SHOULD do the same thing. I should do it right NOW. I WILL. AND I WILL HAVE A GALLERY AND AN ART SHOW AND EVERYONE WILL LOVE ME FOR HOW CREATIVE AND AWESOME I AM. (Cue the trumpets and the wind blowing my hair dramatically while I am surrounded by epic original works of art by yours truly)
No joke, I started doodling something as soon as she was finished sharing some of her new pieces with me. It was only kind of good. And the other pieces that I have sketched this week are probably mediocre at best. This a far cry from the instant day dream that I had last Friday.
This is a cycle that has repeated itself over and over again in different areas of my life...and it is hardly ever life giving. Condemnation sneaks in and then depression and then I need Jesus and my friends to scrape me off the floor and breathe hope back into my soul.
Anyway, this week, I found myself thinking, "Why can I never complete things on my own terms?" Almost immediately I felt the Lord ask me, "Do you believe that my 'terms' for completion are better?"
So, God is teaching me what I like to call 'pace-tience'. Taking it slow doesn't mean not moving.
Writing a draft first and publishing after a day or two is okay.
Taking a week to carefully plan a party is okay.
I can't run proverbial marathons at a sprint pace the whole way through. His way, a slower, more gentle way, is better.
Friday, August 29, 2014
A Perfect Heaven
A lady that is very well respected in our church, whom I will refer to as D, spoke to us on Sunday about prayer. A lot of what she said pierced my heart - her statements were so black and white! However, this little tidbit has really been on my mind since then:
"When we come to God in prayer, we do not instruct Him. We ask Him for His will in it as it would be in heaven."
What does that mean? The thought that broadcast itself across my mind immediately after D made that statement was that when we ask for His will to be done as it is in Heaven, we are asking to live in the reality of a perfect Heaven.
I know that thought wasn't mine because I don't think that way, or speak that way. I believe it was a download from the Holy Spirit. :)
What do we know about Heaven? Revelation 21 says that Heaven is God living and dwelling with us, calling us His people, His children, His family. Heaven is God being right beside us and wiping our tears away. Sickness and death have no more place, and there is an end to mourning and crying and pain. When Jesus takes the throne, He removes the old order - the way Satan has been running the world. He exclaims that He is making everything completely new! The Greek word for new here is kainos, which means "new" in the sense of form - making everything of fresh, quality, unworn substance. So, it would be like having all your clothes, but right off the rack with the sales tag attached, or having your car, but completely new, zero mileage, sporting the new smell, parked sleek and shiny in your driveway. Only, it's not just material stuff - it's nature too. Imagine all the mountains and flowers and grass and clouds and even the sunset being as it was when He first spoke them into existence. And I think it goes for us too. All those chickenpox scars? Gone! No more need for contacts, allergy medication, canes or wheelchairs. Jesus makes everything is new! Everything!
Bearing that in mind, consider the implications of asking to live in the reality of a perfect Heaven. Wouldn't that mean living in a superior reality? Believers completely embracing the fact that God loves them like a Daddy. Sick people being made well, instantly. Dead people coming back to life. A perfect garden, without worrying about pests. Outrageous comfort from a big, holy God who loves to dote on us.
I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to have any kind of handle on living in that reality, but, boy, do I want it...and I think it starts with asking for His will.
"When we come to God in prayer, we do not instruct Him. We ask Him for His will in it as it would be in heaven."
What does that mean? The thought that broadcast itself across my mind immediately after D made that statement was that when we ask for His will to be done as it is in Heaven, we are asking to live in the reality of a perfect Heaven.
I know that thought wasn't mine because I don't think that way, or speak that way. I believe it was a download from the Holy Spirit. :)
What do we know about Heaven? Revelation 21 says that Heaven is God living and dwelling with us, calling us His people, His children, His family. Heaven is God being right beside us and wiping our tears away. Sickness and death have no more place, and there is an end to mourning and crying and pain. When Jesus takes the throne, He removes the old order - the way Satan has been running the world. He exclaims that He is making everything completely new! The Greek word for new here is kainos, which means "new" in the sense of form - making everything of fresh, quality, unworn substance. So, it would be like having all your clothes, but right off the rack with the sales tag attached, or having your car, but completely new, zero mileage, sporting the new smell, parked sleek and shiny in your driveway. Only, it's not just material stuff - it's nature too. Imagine all the mountains and flowers and grass and clouds and even the sunset being as it was when He first spoke them into existence. And I think it goes for us too. All those chickenpox scars? Gone! No more need for contacts, allergy medication, canes or wheelchairs. Jesus makes everything is new! Everything!
Bearing that in mind, consider the implications of asking to live in the reality of a perfect Heaven. Wouldn't that mean living in a superior reality? Believers completely embracing the fact that God loves them like a Daddy. Sick people being made well, instantly. Dead people coming back to life. A perfect garden, without worrying about pests. Outrageous comfort from a big, holy God who loves to dote on us.
I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend to have any kind of handle on living in that reality, but, boy, do I want it...and I think it starts with asking for His will.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Together
I so enjoy days like today.
This morning all three of us got up, had breakfast together, and then left to go to a big yard sale our church was putting on. We chatted with our friends running it, got some great deals (SOOO excited about the double stroller we found!). After that, we dropped some books off at a local book store, perused Goodwill, and then made our way to ReStore for the moving sale. Since it was past our little boy's naptime, we went home, celebrated our finds, ate lunch, and took a nap. I've yet to pick up the kitchen, and my husband still has an errand or two to run, and then the BEST part - we are having dinner with some dear friends tonight...which means that I do not have to cook :) Hooray!
So, why have I enjoyed this day so much?
We were together.
Just the three (almost four) of us.
No ministry calls, no events, no students with theological or relationship questions. We got to be a normal family doing normal things together.
Please don't mishear me. My husband and I love the students we serve, and believe it is some of the most rewarding work on the planet. Sometimes, though, for our little family, just being together gets pushed to the side.
Ahhh. It is nice to be together.
This morning all three of us got up, had breakfast together, and then left to go to a big yard sale our church was putting on. We chatted with our friends running it, got some great deals (SOOO excited about the double stroller we found!). After that, we dropped some books off at a local book store, perused Goodwill, and then made our way to ReStore for the moving sale. Since it was past our little boy's naptime, we went home, celebrated our finds, ate lunch, and took a nap. I've yet to pick up the kitchen, and my husband still has an errand or two to run, and then the BEST part - we are having dinner with some dear friends tonight...which means that I do not have to cook :) Hooray!
So, why have I enjoyed this day so much?
We were together.
Just the three (almost four) of us.
No ministry calls, no events, no students with theological or relationship questions. We got to be a normal family doing normal things together.
Please don't mishear me. My husband and I love the students we serve, and believe it is some of the most rewarding work on the planet. Sometimes, though, for our little family, just being together gets pushed to the side.
Ahhh. It is nice to be together.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thinking and Feeling
Have you ever taken the Meyers-Briggs test? It's basically the most thorough personality quiz you can take, measuring whether you're an introvert or extrovert, etc. I've noticed its in vogue now in conversation to volunteer your classification, ie, "I'm an ENFJ, so naturally I tend to...." in order to explain behavior. If you haven't taken it, and you're curious, here's a link to the test.
I finally took the quiz and I was dismayed to find that I am an ESFP - usually classified as the life of the party. Here's a break down of what that means:
E- Extroverted (surely you know what this means!)
S - Sensing (meaning observant, relying on the five senses)
F - Feeling (senstive, following their heart, keeping feelings close to the surface)
P -Perceiving (probing, likes to keep options open)
The description for this personality type basically describes a person who enjoys being the center of attention, always talks about their feelings, and doesn't really enjoy thinking about abstract ideas or philosophies. In Gabby-speak, this translates as a dumb emotional attention getter. I hate that idea! HATE IT. I don't want to be dumb. I don't want to be the attention w*!#@. I want to be smart and practical and beautiful and lovely and elegant and admirable!
However, as much as I hated the description...it was accurate. Dead on. I even took the test three times to try to trick it. Nope. I always scored as an ESFP. [dangit!]
What bothers me the most (and probably because it is true) is that I am so feelings oriented. It really shows up in relationships with other people. Somebody will say something that will unintentionally make me feel like the scum of the earth, when really, they were just making an innocent observation. Other times, someone will do something that makes me feel like they don't appreciate me or see my work as valid, and it's insulting. Were they meaning to insult me? No. Were their actions even directed towards me? Not really. Unfortunately, all the negative answers to these questions do not keep me from feeling like an incompetent invalid.
Recently, I've been trying to make a concerted effort to think through these feelings by asking myself those questions. It's been really good to find the source of the emotional tornado mess in my head. I've found that I really enjoy being able to find the source. I even really enjoy saying, "When you said/did this...." because I can blame something for making me feel rotten. What is harder for me to say is the last clause "....it made me feel..." When I admit to having feelings, the tears flow. Who knew admitting to having feelings would do that to an already emotional person?
This completely surprises me. When I started this whole process, I thought that making myself think through my feelings would make me less emotional, but it's been the complete opposite. Instead of distancing myself from being emotional altogether, the anger is hotter. Loneliness is colder. Shame is heavier. Thinking has actually made me feel emotions even deeper than I did before. The good news, I'm hoping, is that there is another side to the coin. Will the joy be more electric?
Thinking has not changed the fabric of my personality. If anything, its been the detergent to clean it so I can see the patterns and colors more clearly, or like windex on a dingy mirror. The real challenge now is to accept the person I see staring back at me, with tears running down her face...and celebrate her.
God, please show me how to accept who you made me to be...even if I know others will reject me.
I finally took the quiz and I was dismayed to find that I am an ESFP - usually classified as the life of the party. Here's a break down of what that means:
E- Extroverted (surely you know what this means!)
S - Sensing (meaning observant, relying on the five senses)
F - Feeling (senstive, following their heart, keeping feelings close to the surface)
P -Perceiving (probing, likes to keep options open)
The description for this personality type basically describes a person who enjoys being the center of attention, always talks about their feelings, and doesn't really enjoy thinking about abstract ideas or philosophies. In Gabby-speak, this translates as a dumb emotional attention getter. I hate that idea! HATE IT. I don't want to be dumb. I don't want to be the attention w*!#@. I want to be smart and practical and beautiful and lovely and elegant and admirable!
However, as much as I hated the description...it was accurate. Dead on. I even took the test three times to try to trick it. Nope. I always scored as an ESFP. [dangit!]
What bothers me the most (and probably because it is true) is that I am so feelings oriented. It really shows up in relationships with other people. Somebody will say something that will unintentionally make me feel like the scum of the earth, when really, they were just making an innocent observation. Other times, someone will do something that makes me feel like they don't appreciate me or see my work as valid, and it's insulting. Were they meaning to insult me? No. Were their actions even directed towards me? Not really. Unfortunately, all the negative answers to these questions do not keep me from feeling like an incompetent invalid.
Recently, I've been trying to make a concerted effort to think through these feelings by asking myself those questions. It's been really good to find the source of the emotional tornado mess in my head. I've found that I really enjoy being able to find the source. I even really enjoy saying, "When you said/did this...." because I can blame something for making me feel rotten. What is harder for me to say is the last clause "....it made me feel..." When I admit to having feelings, the tears flow. Who knew admitting to having feelings would do that to an already emotional person?
This completely surprises me. When I started this whole process, I thought that making myself think through my feelings would make me less emotional, but it's been the complete opposite. Instead of distancing myself from being emotional altogether, the anger is hotter. Loneliness is colder. Shame is heavier. Thinking has actually made me feel emotions even deeper than I did before. The good news, I'm hoping, is that there is another side to the coin. Will the joy be more electric?
Thinking has not changed the fabric of my personality. If anything, its been the detergent to clean it so I can see the patterns and colors more clearly, or like windex on a dingy mirror. The real challenge now is to accept the person I see staring back at me, with tears running down her face...and celebrate her.
God, please show me how to accept who you made me to be...even if I know others will reject me.
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